Rds. John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman created the Gottman Method, a type of couples counselling. The Sound Relationship House hypothesis, which outlines nine components of a healthy relationship, serves as the foundation for the interventions utilised in the Gottman Method.
The Good Partnership the Gottman Method is based on the principle of the house. A secure marriage is represented as a house in this poem. According to the notion, a couple can progress through seven “floors” to strengthen their bond as well as two “weight-bearing walls” that are crucial to keeping them together. These are listed below:
- Create love maps: On the first floor of the Sound Relationship House, couples learn about each other’s inner psychological realms.
- Share affection and admiration: On this level, couples learn to openly show their respect and admiration for one another in order to deepen their relationship.
- Turn towards not away: This level is learning to recognize when a partner is requesting attention, affection, or comfort and to turn toward them rather than away from them.
- The positive viewpoint: By teaching partners to view each other positively, this floor enables them to recognize that mistakes are the result of circumstances rather than personal failings.
- Manage Conflict: Couples learn how to manage conflict on this floor using a three-step procedure. Partners first consider each other’s feelings. Partners then learn to talk about their issues. Finally, partners learn self-soothing strategies to maintain composure when they begin to feel overpowered during disagreement.
- Realize your life’s ambitions: The focus of the next-to-last floor is encouraging and supporting one’s partner in achieving their objectives and goals.
- Create shared meaning: The top floor is similar to the first floor in that it requires comprehending an inner world, except that in this case, the inner world is that of the couple, and it comprises learning the rituals and tales that have special significance for them.
- Trust and Commitment: The Sound Relationship House’s two weight-bearing walls assist couples as they move through its seven stories by fostering trust and commitment. Committed couples have made a commitment to remain together and seek to improve their union. Couples that are in trust with one another feel like a team and can rely on one another.
Clearly, there are opportunities for couples to learn new skills that will improve their relationships on each floor of the Sound Relationship House. This idea serves as the foundation for the work of Gottman couples’ therapists.
Given that The Gottman Method places this as its primary objective, it can assist with a wide range of relationship problems, from constant fighting to infidelity and emotional distance, which may appear distinct but are frequently the outcome of ongoing disputes.
Even couples who don’t think their level of conflict is a problem but want to better understand their relationship might benefit from the Gottman Method. Any stage of a relationship, regardless of race, class, or cultural identity, can benefit from the therapy. According to research, it also works well for same-sex relationships.
The Gottman Method is distinctive in that it emphasises enduring rather than resolvable disputes. One of the ways that this type of therapy can assist couples in improving their relationship is by helping them see this difference. Couples can change unhealthy conflict behaviours with more constructive ones by adopting new approaches to resolving ongoing arguments.
In addition, many of the treatments in the Gottman Method are targeted since it is supported by thorough research. They contain doable recommendations that help couples leave each session knowing how to continue resolving their problems outside of therapy.
Additionally, mastering these techniques will benefit couples throughout time. They can use these skills and approaches even after therapy, which will keep them from reverting to their old destructive routines.
Studies have shown that the Gottman Method is very successful. The Gottman Institute provides workshops and retreats in addition to one-on-one therapy sessions.
Couples were evaluated one year after participating in either a one-day and two-day workshop or a workshop followed by nine sessions of couple’s therapy using the Gottman Method, according to a randomized clinical trial. The trial revealed that each was successful. Although combining a two-day workshop with nine treatment sessions was the most successful strategy and also led to the fewest relapses.
Similar to this, a study on the Gottman Method couples therapy discovered that it was a successful treatment for enhancing married couples’ relationships, compatibility, and intimacy after 10 sessions.
The assessment phase of Gottman Method couples therapy begins with a joint session between the couple and the therapist.
The couple’s therapist meets with each partner separately. Couples can also finish questionnaires created as a part of the Gottman Method. Together, this will provide the therapist the opportunity to develop a complete image of the relationship, which they can use to inform the couple about the stability of their union and choose the interventions that will benefit them the best.
Interventions based on the Gottman Method are intended to enhance a couple’s relationship and conflict-resolution skills. Couples will therefore learn in treatment how to enhance relationships so that they transition from negative to positive, develop emotional connection, and create shared goals.
The research on which the therapy is based is used by Gottman Method therapists to inform couples on the elements of healthy relationships, in addition to strengthening relationship skills. Couples have more understanding of their marital dynamics and strategies for long-term relationship maintenance as a result. Couples have more freedom with workshops and retreats because they may be completed both offline and online.